Below are some useful self-defense tips for those of you that are tentative or fearful about entering your dark house alone at night.
Some of the tips may seem slightly neurotic and paranoid. But if you were raised with stories of ghosts, goblins, and monsters,it might have taken years for you to enter a dark house all by yourself too. Stories of the boogeyman made going into the basement a terrifying premise. Taking a shower with the shower curtain open helped alleviate some of the stress. Damn that Alfred Hitchcock. And thanks a lot to my scare inducing family.
But as I got older my fears subsided. Logic tells me there are no goblins or monsters. (Okay maybe zombies. Even the federal government had a drill for dealing with zombies people.) Experience has given me a sense of routine and security. But occasionally when my inner child's frightening imagination resurfaces, I can scare myself silly. Many a night when I have turned off the last light, I have rushed and dived into my bed to hide under my covers, my husband wondering what the heck just happened.
When I was in my twenties, the biggest fear I had was going into my house at night when no one was home. Here are some steps I would take years ago to ensure my safety.
Tip 1: Cell phones - A new innovation this millennium for safety. I didn't have one. Cell phones
were not as prevalent as they are now. If you're scared to enter your home, call someone.
A voice on the other end can be comforting.
Tip 2: Wait for a neighbor to come home. I've sat in my car staring at my house for up to an
hour waiting for a neighbor to show up or until I could force myself to Get.Out.Of.The.Car.
(This is an example of letting fear paralyze your body and your mind.)
Tip 3: Look around before you get out of your car. Gather your purse, your briefcase, or
packages and have them in your hand before you get out of the car. No need to stand outside
any more time than is necessary. (This is a good idea anytime.)
Tip 4: Hold your keys in between your fingers mimicking tiger claws. But make sure your house
key is between your thumb and index finger ready to open the front door with lightening
speed.
Tip 5: Get ready to hit the car's alarm button if you have one, so the uproar will
neighbors and force them to their windows. Then, you can wave. Make hand gestures
suggesting you have something to tell them so they continue to stare at you quizzically all the way to your door.
Tip 6: Stand at your open door for what seems like hours and listen. Listen closely. Then go back to
your car. (I feel a little foolish to admit that I did this a couple of times.)
Tip 7: Put some lamps on a timer to come on around dusk. That way you never have to enter a
dark house. If not, run around the house turning all the lights on as makes you comfortable.
Tip 8: If your house hasn't been ransacked, it's a comforting indication that things are just fine.
Hopefully you can tell if your house has been ransacked or not. Also leave something of
value, like a twenty dollar bill in a strategic spot. If it's still there, its a good omen.
Tip 9: After turning on the lights, go directly to your kitchen and grab a scary weapon, a butcher
knife. (You're probably thinking, "Whoa girl, get a grip!" I know this sounds extreme, but I was scared.)
Tip 10: Account for all the butcher knives.
Tip 11: Check that the doors you locked when you left are still locked. For me it was the basement
door. Our home was built in the 30's so the six basement windows were huge and hinged.
It was easy access to get inside, so I needed the basement door locked at all times. Replace
basement windows with glass blocks. Huzzah!
Tip 12: Check out the other rooms in your house, turn on the lights, listen, check for open
windows, look under beds, open and inspect every closet. Leave the light on when you leave each room.
Tip 13: With all the talk these days about carrying concealed weapons, you already might be
packing heat. But for those of you that find that too distasteful, then carry a big stick,
your pepper spray or trusty butcher knife and follow procedure.
Tip 14: Now that you've checked everything, you feel much safer now. Turn off some of those
lights and save on electricity. Return the knife to the kitchen, or your gun to its holster, or
put back the big stick you keep by the door. You're hungry. Make something good to eat.
Tip 15: Take self defense classes. More than once, better take at least three. You might feel a little
more confident about leaving your car, traveling to your door and inspecting the inside.
This was my routine when I first moved away from home. When I got married my anxiety subsided a bit, but my husband was a professional musician working evenings, so my fear of coming home to a dark house continued for years. I was a big, fat, scared-y cat and I was ashamed. But then one day it all changed. The fear dropped away and was replaced with strength and purpose. Someone asked me what had changed. You might not be ready for Tip 15 yet, but one day you will.
Tip 16: I became a mother. My whole paradigm shifted. I showed no fear to my child because I
didn't want to transfer that negative energy. Instead of fearful, I was just cautious. My
protective instincts kicked in and my thoughts were all about the well-being of my child,
physically and mentally. Nothing was going to get between me and my baby.
In an instant I was no longer the scared-y cat wimpy little girl,
but a powerful lioness.
Since becoming a lioness, my fears have abated greatly. I'm still a very cautious woman, but I no longer fear the unknown. I have become more resilient, more knowledgeable and much wiser. My dark house no longer scares me. I realized that my thoughts were keeping me in the dark and that old dark house is really my warm little home.
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